On Marriage
Last night my parents celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary. My two brothers and I each made some comments before my dad and his brother spoke. The we all watched the family video that Jackson produced. That video brought down the house. It was just terrific.
I composed these thoughts walking to the event from our hotel room and then I quickly wrote them down on the advice of my sister in law Karen who said it would be easier to remember that way. So here it is.
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On Marriage:
There are some decisions in life we make without knowing what we are really getting into. The enormity of the task turns out to be so large that we might not have undertaken it had we really known what it was we were stepping up to.
I’ve done it countless times. I am sure we all have. These decisions we make so lightly are often the intersections that determine how we travel through life.
And the biggest of them is marriage. You’re young, in love, and want to spend every hour of every day with someone. So you get married. And the enormity of the undertaking of marriage only reveals itself over time. Joanne and I are 20 years into our marriage this month and we are still learning about how it works. I suppose my Mom and Dad are still figuring it out 50 years into their relationship.
But marriage is special. It’s not like any other undertaking in life. It pays dividends like no other. Our children are the obvious dividends. I’ve got three wonderful children in the room tonight, Jessica, Emily, and Josh. And you are looking at the three wonderful children of my parents standing up here. And look at all the kids in this room tonight. It’s wonderful to see all them them lighting up the room.
That’s just the start though. Marriage is about give and take. Figuring out a way forward together. It’s hard at times for sure. But that give and take creates a kind of relationship that goes behind the love that gets us all into this in the first place.
I remember when I was a little kid and I asked my mom “do you love me or dad more?”. She said, “I love you very much, but I love your Dad in a different way.” I sort of took that as fact and stored it away for future use. And I now know what you were talking about Mom.
My parents marriage has made a lasting impression on me. We moved a lot as a kid. My dad was gone for a year in vietnam. I worried a lot about stuff as a kid. But there was always one thing I never worried about. I knew my parents loved each other and that would never end. And it has not stopped. Just look at them and you know. I love you Mom and Dad.
